The Odd Girl

For years

I’ve tried running

from myself

do you think I want to be

the odd girl out 

always the stranger 

in every gathering

always with the side eye 

upon me

trying to bend myself 

to please everyone 

is worse 

I end up pleasing no one 

and killing myself 

with heartache

I can’t fit the mold

I’m always breaking out

in unexpected directions

I’m always turning 

contrary against the wind 

and making things hard 

for myself 

for other people 

but maybe it is worth it

maybe I’ll blaze a trail

that is new 

paved with stars and comets

and hallucinations 

and dark dreams 

but woven together 

into something 

you will sign 

with your approval.