Restraint

How is your head

filled with magic and electricity

as it is for each of us

able to detach 

from the soft whispers

that rise from the tissue 

of your flesh

as you sink into the embrace

of the couch cushions  

or from the song of your blood 

when you awake from a dream

with your heart still 

pounding.

You cannot deny yourself

all the parts of you 

that you want to subjugate 

to the discipline of your will

are getting ready to break out

impossible to separate 

the artist and the man

since they share the same vision

and the same cartography of thinking

and the same partitioned gifts.

I have also spent decades 

trying to push down

the woman within 

and let me tell you 

that this self-deception

has left the marks of restraint

permanently upon me 

but you cannot be victorious

over yourself

because

both sides of you will lose.