Coming Of Age

when do we

abandon childhood 

is it when we carry 

a laptop 

into work, is it when 

we make love or fall

in love, or when

the burdens of age

start to pin us into place

like a web 

of threads

I can feel the 

push-pins stabbing

into the surface

all about me, I can feel 

the cords 

dig into my flesh

as they start 

to cut 

the limitations of 

childhood

are no benison

I have visceral memories 

of being too small to 

drag open the handles

of heavy doors, of tables 

standing at eye level and 

the nice librarian 

steering me away

from the books for

older children 

to protect me from 

knowledge

give me this

freedom to make 

my own poor choices, let me 

wade in mistakes

up to my waist as long

as I can bail myself 

out of my own troubles 

surely you understand 

that you can 

trust me to know 

what it is 

that I want